초판발행 2023.12.29

서울상담심리대학원대학교 마음건강연구소의 교사학생 의사소통증진프로그램은 학교현장에서 학생들의 성장과 발전을 위해 고생하고 계시는 선생님들께 도움이 되었으면 하는 마음으로 개발하게 되었다, 지금도 현장에 계시는 선생님은 교사와 학생이라는 관계를 기반으로 하여 학교에서 학생들과 함께 생활하면서 성장하고 발달해가는 학생들을 보면서 큰 성취감과 만족을 얻고 계시리라 믿는다. 대부분의 학생들은 자신의 목적과 꿈을 이루기 위해 힘들고 어렵기는 하지만 학교생활을 하고 있다. 하지만 그중에 어떤 학생들은 성적, 교우관계, 가정문제 등으로 인해 크고 작은 어려움을 경험하고 학교생활에 부적응하기도 한다. 교사를 천직으로 알고 계시는 선생님들이 열정과 희생으로 지치고 힘들어하는 학생들이 용기를 잃지 않고 사회의 일원으로 훌륭하게 성장해나갈 수 있도록 애쓰시는 노력에 항상 감사드린다. 이번에 기획한 교사학생 의사소통증진프로그램은 교육현장에서 애쓰시는 선생님들께 심리상담을 연구하는 전문가로서 조금이라도 학교운영과 학생관리에 도움이 되었으면 하는 마음으로 준비하게 되었다.

그동안 학교 현장에서 고생하시는 선생님과 학생들을 도와주기 위하여 교육부 등 관련기관에서는 다양한 노력을 하였고 그중 하나로 Wee클래스 상담교사와 상담사 등 상담체계를 구축하였다. 실제 어려움을 경험하는 학생들이 큰 도움을 받고 있다. 하지만 아직도 주변 사람들의 시선을 의식하거나 자신의 어려움을 이야기해야 한다는 부담 등으로 인해 상담받는 것을 부담스러워하는 학생들이 있다. 이로 인해 스트레스가 심하거나 위기의 순간에 효과적인 도움을 받지 못하는 학생이 발생하여 고통의 시간을 보내는 경우가 있다.

교사학생 의사소통증진프로그램을 개발한 연구팀은 학생들의 심리상담에 대한 불편함을 제거하고 기존의 구축되어 있는 학생을 위한 상담을 활성화할 수 있는 방법에 대해 고민하였다. 여러 번의 회의와 논의 결과 학교에서 가장 가까운 거리에 있고 매일매일을 함께하고 있는 교사와 학생 사이의 의사소통이 활성화된다면 교사가 어려운 상황에 처한 학생을 조기에 발견하는 것이 가능할 것이라는 결론을 얻었다. 이러한 결론에 기초하여 교사학생 의사소통 증진을 주제로 설정하고 개발을 위한 연구를 하였다.

이러한 노력을 통해 개발한 교사학생 의사소통증진프로그램의 내용은 1강 한국의 교육 현실과 교사의 자기이해, 2강 청소년기의 이해, 3강 의사소통의 실제 I-너의 마음 듣기, 4강 의사소통의 실제 II-나의 마음 말하기로 구성하였다. 교육의 구성과 진행은 선생님들이 교육내용을 수월하게 이해할 수 있도록 돕기 위해 이론에 기반한 교육이 아니라 사례, 영상 등으로 구성하였다.

이번에 개발한 교사학생 의사소통증진프로그램을 통하여 교사의 의사소통능력이 증진된다면 효과적인 학생관리가 가능할 것으로 생각한다. 또한 이를 통하여 교사와 학생이 서로 공감하고 함께하는 학교를 만드는 데 도움이 될 것으로 기대한다. 심리상담적인 측면에서 교사학생 의사소통증진프로그램에서 얻은 효과적인 의사소통을 통하여 일차적으로 교사가 어려움을 경험하고 있는 학생을 확인하는 것이 가능할 것이다. 동시에 의사소통을 통하여 학교현장에서 초기에 가장 필요한 상담과 도움을 제공한 후 보다 체계적이고 전문적인 심리상담이 필요한 경우에는 전문적인 심리상담을 받을 수 있는 전문기관이나 전문가에게 의뢰하는 것을 교사의 역할로 설정하고 있다. 심리상담 경험과 관련 전문성을 갖춘 선생님은 심리상담을 제공하는 것이 가능할 수 있지만, 이미 교과목 강의와 학생관리로 힘든 소진상태에 이른 선생님들이 리상담까지 담당하는 것은 매우 무리한 요구일 수 있다. 따라서 교육을 받으신 선생님들께서 어려움을 경험하는 학생을 조기에 발견하고 초기에 필요한 도움을 제공한 후 추가적인 도움이 필요한 경우 적절한 의뢰를 해주셨으면 한다. 이러한 선생님들의 초기 의사소통을 통해 어려움을 경험하고 있는 학생에 대한 체계적인 관리가 가능하다면 학교 내 정신건강 증진 안전망을 구축하는 데 수립하는 데 도움이 될 것이라 생각한다.

2023. 12

서울상담심리대학원대학교 마음건강연구소

■ 육성필

서울상담심리대학원대학교 위기관리상담전공 교수, 마음건강연구소장

■ 노미애

서울상담심리대학원대학교 마음건강연구소 전임연구원

■ 신민영

서울상담심리대학원대학교 노인임상상담전공 교수

■ 이건희

서울상담심리대학원대학교 초빙교수

감사의 글 ····························································································· 1

들어가며 ······························································································· 2

1강

한국의 교육 현실과 교사의 자기이해

Ⅰ. 교사의 현실 ················································································· 13

Ⅱ. 교사학생 간 상호이해와 스트레스 감소를 위한 심리학적 해법 · 16

1. 교사 역할의 특수성(특별한 어려움) 이해 ····································· 16

2. 유능한 교사의 본성에 대한 이해

(칼 로저스–충분히 기능하는 인간) ··············································· 18

3. 교사의 자기이해 ·············································································· 23

Ⅲ. 교사의 학생 이해 ········································································ 28

2강

청소년기의 이해

Ⅰ. 청소년기의 특성 ·········································································· 31

1. 청소년기의 정의와 개괄적 특성 ···················································· 31

2. 청소년기의 신체발달 ······································································· 33

3. 청소년기의 심리 사회 발달 ···························································· 42

4. 청소년기의 인지발달 ······································································· 50

5. 청소년기의 심리 부적응 ····························································· 52

Ⅱ. 청소년 이해를 위한 교사의 자세 ··············································· 56

1. 청소년기의 방황의 의미 ································································· 56

2. 칼 로저스(Carl Rogers)의 인간중심 상담자의 자세 ················· 57

3강

의사소통의 실제 Ⅰ - 너의 마음 듣기

Ⅰ. 의사소통의 전제조건 ··································································· 61

1. 마음이 통하는(소통하는) 대화란? ················································· 61

Ⅱ. 듣기(적극적 경청)의 기술 ·························································· 65

1. 감정 반영하기(Reflecting) ··························································· 65

2. 거울처럼 반영하기(Mirroring) ·················································· 67

3. 재진술하기(Paraphrasing) ························································ 68

4. 명료화(Clarification) ································································· 69

5. 요약하기(Summarizing) ······························································ 69

6. 타당화, 인정하기(Validation) ····················································· 70

7. 공감(Empathy) ············································································· 71

Ⅲ. 적극적 듣기의 실제 ···································································· 72

1. 불통(소통되지 않는) 대화를 소통 대화로 재구성해 보기 ··········· 72

2. 적극적 듣기를 활용해 심정대화로 의사소통한 예 ···················· 74

Ⅳ. 비언어적 메시지 듣기 ································································· 77

Ⅴ. 심정대화 중 듣기를 할 때, 주의할 점 ······································ 79

4강

의사소통의 실제 Ⅱ - 나의 마음 말하기

Ⅰ. 의사소통을 위한 ‘말하기’ 기술 ·················································· 83

1. 심정대화의 ‘말하기’와 사리대화의 ‘말하기’의 차이점 ·················· 83

Ⅱ. 심정대화의 ‘말하기’ 기술 ··························································· 84

1. 상대방이 들을 준비시키기 ······························································ 84

2. 감정 말하기 ····················································································· 84

3. 분노(화) 표현하기 ·········································································· 86

4. 감정 말하고 기다리기 ····································································· 88

5. 심정대화의 ‘말하기’의 전제 조건 ··················································· 89

Ⅲ. 교사의 ‘말하기’ 기술

(교수-학습과 생활지도를 위한 말하기 기술) ····························· 92

1. 지시어는 간결하고, 명확하게 말한다. ········································· 92

2. 거절의 언어(No)보다는 수용의 언어(Yes)를 사용한다. ············· 93

3. 생활지도 시에는 미리 한계를 설정하고, 자율성을

존중하는 방식으로 말한다. ····························································· 95

4. 사소한 건 모른 척한다. ································································· 96

Ⅳ. 피해야 할 말 ··············································································· 97

Ⅴ. 소통하는 대화의 실례(실습용 사례) ········································ 100

Ⅵ. 에필로그: 소통과 관계 맺기 ···················································· 103

참고 문헌 ··························································································· 104

부록 ···································································································· 119